Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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