Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
