I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
He has the fingertips of a God
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