You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
