No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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