dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
where am i from again
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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