i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Your penis caused this!
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