So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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