He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
