you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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