I'm jealous of your bromance
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
