My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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