so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Randomize
