ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
