He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
