The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
