Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
