its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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