so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
