I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
