Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
