If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
