For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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