It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
