Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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