i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Bring me that man meat
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
