i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
