Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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