sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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