i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
