I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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