on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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