i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
