Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
