He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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