apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize
