some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
