i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
