Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
