just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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