I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Randomize
