She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Drake has all the answers
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
