That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
