Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
