dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Randomize
