Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
