It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
