Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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