hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
