Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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