on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
