We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
